This dialog sounds very authentic to me, and the idea of eaves-dropping is always of interest, I think. A fine start, J! Two questions to consider, maybe? 1.) Lay down should be LIE down in this case. 2.) Are these women strangers to you? If so, how do you know they don't care about each other? How could you show us they don't care about each other? Just something to think about. I don't mean to be rude, just helpful. I hope you don't mind.
Of course not. I love to hear back from people. I never really never imagined the conversation being listened into or not. To be honest the introduction was the last thought I added at the end. I just wanted to write some dialogue. But I definitely see your point. Also, you do not have to be worried about being rude. If you have feedback I will take it.
Well, darn it - understood! I am a long-time writer and still crave those warm feelings. I think all we need is for one other person to understand us. It is enough.
This dialog sounds very authentic to me, and the idea of eaves-dropping is always of interest, I think. A fine start, J! Two questions to consider, maybe? 1.) Lay down should be LIE down in this case. 2.) Are these women strangers to you? If so, how do you know they don't care about each other? How could you show us they don't care about each other? Just something to think about. I don't mean to be rude, just helpful. I hope you don't mind.
Of course not. I love to hear back from people. I never really never imagined the conversation being listened into or not. To be honest the introduction was the last thought I added at the end. I just wanted to write some dialogue. But I definitely see your point. Also, you do not have to be worried about being rude. If you have feedback I will take it.
You are a good sport, J. I am a retired English teacher who just can't seem to let go... I am enjoying your stories.
Well I'm just a kid who's new to writing fiction and gets a warm feeling when their work is complemented.
Well, darn it - understood! I am a long-time writer and still crave those warm feelings. I think all we need is for one other person to understand us. It is enough.